for those who read this blog i posted not that long ago that i had lost a baby and that i was grieving over the loss.. well i take a step each day to heal, my daughter has helped and so has my husband. he is hurt but i dont think he understands quite yet that it has really affected me in such a way. some times i cant describe that way cause even am unsure of it as of right now.
each day i am alive i do my best not to think about our angel baby and take each day as it comes, but some times it hits me like a ton of bricks. almost like the world is on my chest even tho i know that i have family who will be there. i feel like i already been too much on them already, i was a hard teen to deal with. even though i was like that i knew that one day i would like to become a mother.
i got that even though it was before i wanted i wanted to be older but the fates think it funny to give us more than we can handle at times. i knew that i would keep that baby and i knew that it was a girl./ every one else told me that it would be a boy, well it turns out i was right. i love her more than the world. i miss my angel baby but i guess it wasn't time for us to have it.
i feel we should be grateful that we are still alive no matter what, even at rock bottom there is some hope for us. i want hope for now and for our children and so on so forth.
each day i am alive i do my best not to think about our angel baby and take each day as it comes, but some times it hits me like a ton of bricks. almost like the world is on my chest even tho i know that i have family who will be there. i feel like i already been too much on them already, i was a hard teen to deal with. even though i was like that i knew that one day i would like to become a mother.
i got that even though it was before i wanted i wanted to be older but the fates think it funny to give us more than we can handle at times. i knew that i would keep that baby and i knew that it was a girl./ every one else told me that it would be a boy, well it turns out i was right. i love her more than the world. i miss my angel baby but i guess it wasn't time for us to have it.
i feel we should be grateful that we are still alive no matter what, even at rock bottom there is some hope for us. i want hope for now and for our children and so on so forth.
Good Morning Sister,
ReplyDeleteHaving trouble getting a post to you, hopefully will work this time......I know you are hurting and grieving takes time. Try not to let it overwhelm you. Focus on what you have and not what you have lost. Nothing is lost to God and that is where your little Anget is right now. I am glad you are using your gift of writing as an out let. This will help in your healing. Love you soooo much. Give my g-g niece a big hug and kiss. Love, Auntie