like many people am struggling not only with life and money but with pain and greif of what would have, what should have.
i am writing now not as naive as i once was i knew loss or at least i thought i did until i lost a baby. one that i never even got to meet. i call it my angel baby. my husband and i have been struggling with finding work after his discharge from the army. but we try and take it on day at a time. i know that we are lucky that we have one perfect child she is healthy helpful and loving.
i found out i was expecting again in April and i was in shock and i didn't know if i was ready. if i would be able to love this one as much as my daughter but i knew i would try. i was told it was normal to feel this way. so with every thing we took it one day at a time. i had spotting i was told that is normal as well but in my heart i knew this one was not the same and know each are different.
i tried to keep my self busy and tryd to keep my mind off the fact i didn't feel pregnant. we saw the heart beat at 7 weeks 5 days and just this past Saturday i was spotting so i went to the er and found out the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks . i was so heart broken but i know am not the only one to experience this. i had a follow up with my ob and she set me up for a D&C. i said goodbye to this baby today and am sad that i will never get to meet him/her.
i am learning to accept things i cant change and live life like i never had before. even in our mohters womb we are not guaranteed to live. it is nothing short of a miracle that we are alive! give your babies an extra hug just to let them know how much they mean to you even if some days you want to pull your hair out.
i am writing now not as naive as i once was i knew loss or at least i thought i did until i lost a baby. one that i never even got to meet. i call it my angel baby. my husband and i have been struggling with finding work after his discharge from the army. but we try and take it on day at a time. i know that we are lucky that we have one perfect child she is healthy helpful and loving.
i found out i was expecting again in April and i was in shock and i didn't know if i was ready. if i would be able to love this one as much as my daughter but i knew i would try. i was told it was normal to feel this way. so with every thing we took it one day at a time. i had spotting i was told that is normal as well but in my heart i knew this one was not the same and know each are different.
i tried to keep my self busy and tryd to keep my mind off the fact i didn't feel pregnant. we saw the heart beat at 7 weeks 5 days and just this past Saturday i was spotting so i went to the er and found out the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks . i was so heart broken but i know am not the only one to experience this. i had a follow up with my ob and she set me up for a D&C. i said goodbye to this baby today and am sad that i will never get to meet him/her.
i am learning to accept things i cant change and live life like i never had before. even in our mohters womb we are not guaranteed to live. it is nothing short of a miracle that we are alive! give your babies an extra hug just to let them know how much they mean to you even if some days you want to pull your hair out.
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